Get a Massage – 3 Things You Should Know

I am an expert at receiving massages. My qualifications include receiving many massages, talking about receiving massages, and now, writing about receiving massages. Recently, I was directed my a medical professional to get a massage every other week. It was by and large the most welcomed medical advice I have ever received.

Assuming you are not one of those people who doesn’t like to get massages (Note: the only reason I know these unicorns exist is because I’m related to one  – not by blood though, and I think that matters), receiving a professional massage is something you MUST do. If you have never had a professional massage, there are three things you should know.

  1. You will be almost completely naked with a stranger.

Don’t worry! You get undressed by yourself (most people keep their undies on) and you are under the warm sheets before the massage therapist comes back into the room. The sheet will cover your entire body except for the part that is currently being massaged. Most massage therapists are really great about maintaining your modesty and even look the other way when you roll over onto your stomach, which they typically direct you to do halfway through. And don’t worry about being cold, the table warmer is delightful.

  1. There will be good ones and bad ones.

Take recommendations from people you trust to find a good one. You will have your fair share of bad massages. They typically involve chasing some sort of groupon deal and ending up at an abandoned strip mall in a room where the music cuts in and out, the sheets are scratchy, and flannel blankets are nailed over the windows as curtains. You will be fairly certain you entered a serial killer’s den and instead of relaxing, you will spend the entire massage gauging exactly how loud you would have to scream for anyone to hear you. It’s not just the atmosphere though. The massage therapist is a heavy nose breather. It will be like his nostrils are too small, but he doesn’t want to breath through his mouth, so the velocity and overall force of the nose-breathing is out of control. *Shudder* This is the last time you buy a groupon massage.

You will likely also run into the Feather Duster, the Punisher, the Yogi, and the Jabberbox. You can tell the Feather Duster you like deep pressure, but she’ll never touch your knots. You might as well have your six year old niece give you a massage. It’s cheaper. The Punisher does the opposite. She will take out all of her aggression on you, tempting your reflex to punch her in the gut, but if you breathe through it, you will feel so good afterwards.

The Yogi spends more time stretching your limbs than massaging them, which can be nice, but maybe not what you paid for, and the Jabberbox is, well, chatty. The good thing about the Jabberbox is that you can usually shut that down pretty easily by just not responding or politely saying, “this feels so good, I just can’t even talk.” (Only 1 out of 10 times will that backfire and cause him to quit doing such a good job in favor of a conversation.)

A lot of massages will be Chicken Salad. Good, but not memorable. The memorable ones will probably be the Free Spirit and the Hobbyist. The Free Spirit believes massage is her calling, and she’ll treat you like the spiritual being you are. Aromatherapy concoctions chosen specifically for your aura, a complementary psychic reading, and she might even walk on your back as she practices the ancient art of ashiatsu massage. Oh, and she’ll think you are weird for leaving your underwear on.

Now, the Hobbyist. Don’t fault the Hobbyists. Being a massage therapist is usually an entrepreneurial situation, and the Hobbyists need to maintain a separate full-time job to pay the bills. The good news is the Hobbyist is usually very talented and passionate about massage. The problem is that she doesn’t have the time to work on the business aspect. So you arrive, maybe at her home massage studio, and she is not there. Your body is now shaking with disappointment, which makes you feel like an indulgent princess, sending you through the McDonald’s drive through for a conciliatory ice cream. Halfway through your McFlurry, she calls, saying she got hung up at her job and could you come back over. You do, of course, and she cuts your massage short since it’s now time to get supper on the table.

  1. It is worth it.

Someday, you will find the Perfect Professional massage therapist. He will talk just enough at the beginning to make you feel comfortable, then shut up. She will make you breathe through deep pressure when it benefits you, but ensure you walk out feeling relaxed instead of beat up. He will use the right amount of oil, leaving you feeling moisturized but not slimy. She will ensure the music is relaxing, continuous, and not interrupted by Pandora commercials. He will focus on your problem areas, but always make time for your feet. She will send you out the door with a bottle of water. Most importantly, you will feel amazing.

 

Read These 10 Books in 2019

I have always loved to read. I love the smell of books, and I would have a library in my house if we had the space for it. As it is, I encouraged my husband (i.e. demanded) that we install a “book nook” under the staircase of our basement when we finished it, which we did a few months ago. It is the coziest, most peaceful area of our house now, and I only wish I had a couple free hours to spend in it every day.

As much as I love to read, I’m not in a book club (I like to pick my out my own), and I can’t say I finish 52 books a year like some people I know. I’m also not one of those people who, once I start a book, will finish it no matter what. With so many great books out there, why waste your time reading a book you aren’t getting anything out of? Life’s too short.

Below is a list of books I got a lot out of in 2018. You should read them too.

1. Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis

If you are an adult female, chances are you have already read this. Rachel Hollis has gotten a ton of hype in 2018, and I think she deserves every bit of it. She’s authentic and encourages others to be the same. This book is relatable and energizing. I blasted through it on a long weekend vacation and would gladly read it again.

2. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

If you have never read or listened to Brene (rhymes with Renae) Brown before, get ready for your outlook on life to change. As a researcher and storyteller, Brene makes the topics of shame and vulnerability approachable in everyday life. I actually listened to this book rather than read it, and then I listened to everything else in the Brene Brown universe I could get my hands on. Absolutely captivating and insightful. I can’t wait to read her new book, Dare to Lead.

3. Speed of Trust by Stephen R. Covey

I read this one with a group at work over the course of the year. It is an old book, rich with quotes and observations on the power of trust in all types of relationships. It was good fodder for work-related discussions, as it became apparent that any relationship building must start with building and maintaining trust.

4. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F$ck

I have found that some books use swear words in their titles or text to draw your attention, and then have nothing real to say. Not so with this one. My husband bought it based on a recommendation, then I stole it and read it before he noticed it was gone. I can’t say I agreed with everything in it, but there were a lot of observations in it that made me pause and think about things a little differently than I would have before.

5. Quiet by Susan Cain

The subtitle of this one is The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, but it is less of a “self help for introverts” and more of a research book told in first person narrative. It’s readable, but it’s dense with research, so I have taken my time with it. Honestly, I’m still reading it, but as an introvert, I have found it so interesting that I thought it was worth putting on the list.

6. Anything by Dr. Seuss

Just take the time to read anything by Dr. Seuss, whether or not you have kids. Read it out loud. It is so much fun and guaranteed to bring you joy.

7. What is the Bible? by Rob Bell

Rob Bell is a pastor with a somewhat unique view of Christianity and the Bible. In this book, he brings together history and Biblical text in an easily understandable, awe-inspiring way. If you want to learn more about the Bible in a non-preachy, contemporary way, check this out.

8. Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander

Another religious one, Dr. Alexander, a Neurosurgeon, wrote a book about his near-death experience. He talks about visiting different levels of the spiritual realm and discusses how his experiences changed him from being an atheist to a believer. It will give you weird dreams, but it’s fascinating.

9. I Was Told to Come Alone by Souad Mekhennet

This book, written by an experienced international journalist, is subtitled My Journey Behind the Lines of Jihad. It is not a quick read, especially because there are a lot of names to keep straight, but it is worth every minute if you want to understand more about the Middle East and the role of the US there now and in the past. Ms. Mekhennet takes you behind the scenes into dangerous scenarios and shows the guts it takes to be a journalist in today’s world.

10. Becoming by Michelle Obama

I LOVE Michelle Obama, so I was ecstatic when she came out with an autobiography. After an internal debate, I opted to listen to the audiobook rather than read it since she narrates it herself. It is phenomenally well-written, and it’s easy candor makes you forget that knowing this level of detail about a presidential family’s life is unprecedented. Michelle continues to be as authentic and clear-headed as she always seemed in the White House. This book has brought me to tears, made me laugh, and made me realize that Michelle and I would be really great friends, which came as no surprise, of course.

It is strange to me that the only fiction I am recommending is Dr. Seuss. I always say that fiction is my favorite, but the only fiction I seem to read these days is children’s fiction. It’s possible that I am at a point in my life where it feels overly indulgent to slip into a fantasy world when there is so much to learn about the world we all inhabit and about what makes us all tick.

What about you? What kinds of books did you read in 2018? What do you recommend?

Grandpa

My head barely covers
the worn halo on your chair
where yours used to rest.

I can see you here,
your hand on your chest
counting the last beats of your heart,
praying for God to take you home.

You lived so gently,
let me sit on your knee
until my feet could reach the floor.

Your wide farm hands
were strangely soft, covering mine
as I drifted to sleep
in the sound of your heartbeat.

I am Me

Are you your father’s daughter?
Are you your mother’s son?
Are you the oldest in the house?
Are you the little one?

Does Grandma call you “baby doll?”
Does Uncle call you “bud?”
Do you like to keep your boots real clean
or splash around in mud?

Are you a funny giggle box?
Do you like telling jokes?
Are you a star out on the stage
entertaining all the folks?

Or would you rather just be quiet,
spend free time reading books?
Will you try almost anything
your mom or daddy cooks?

Are you tall or very small
or somewhere in between?
Do your eyes look black as night
or maybe, are they green?

Do you rise up with the sun,
or stay up with the moon?
Are you a calm and patient soul,
Or does nothing come too soon?

When someone asks you who you are
or who you want to be,
Don’t be afraid to smile and say,
“I’m happy to be me!”

Simple Spaghetti Squash Taco Bake

Meet my friend spaghetti squash. She’s easy to get along with and a very good influence. She should be your friend too. Ok, I’m going to drop this metaphor now that I am going to tell you how to bake her in the oven. First, preheat to 400 degrees.

Warning! If you have knives in need of sharpening (like mine), you will want to pop your squash into the microwave for a minute or two. This will soften the rind just enough to eliminate the chances of accidentally stabbing yourself. Then cut it in half the long way (“hotdog,” not “hamburger” as my kids would say). Scoop out all the seeds and slimy stuff in the middle, leaving the “spaghetti” flesh intact.

Grab a rimmed cookie sheet (a.k.a. jellyroll pan) and add a little water to it. Place the spaghetti squash cut side down onto the water. Bake in the oven for 20-30 minutes. (Meanwhile, start your taco meat.)

I have read several spaghetti squash recipes that say to cook it for 45 minutes. It has never taken mine that long, and you do NOT want to overcook it or it will be mushy and watery, so I tend to check it after 20 minutes and go from there. If you can easily stab a fork into it, and especially if you can squeeze the rind (USE POTHOLDERS!) to make the flesh pop out, it’s done. Scrape all the spaghetti out with a fork, then sprinkle it with salt to hold in the moisture and give it some good flavor.

Please note, this recipe is incredibly simple, but it can be time-consuming. If you make the spaghetti squash and/or taco meat ahead of time, this becomes a quick weeknight success. You’ll notice my family liked it so much, I only got a photo of half of it!

Ingredients:
Spaghetti squash, prepared
1 pound taco meat, prepared
Diced bell peppers
4 oz. cream cheese
Shredded cheese to preference
S&P to taste
Sour cream, avocado, salsa, crushed tortilla chips (optional garnishes)

Quick directions: Bake at 400 degrees for 25-30 minutes.

Directions:
1. Prepare a 9×13 casserole pan with your choice of nonstick medium, then spread the prepared spaghetti squash on the bottom of the pan. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
2. Melt the 4 oz (half a block) of cream cheese into your prepared taco meat.
3. Add diced bell peppers to the taco meat. Mix well.
4. Spread taco meat mixture on top of spaghetti squash.
5. Top with shredded cheese to your preference.
6. Bake uncovered at 400 degrees for 25-30 minutes.
7. Garnish with sour cream, avocado, salsa, tortilla chips, etc. Enjoy!

The Perfect Job Doesn’t Exist. Is Your Current One Close Enough?

We’re always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up. Doctor? Lawyer? Anchor on the evening news? There were a lot of different paths suggested to me when I was little. (Except from my grandpa. I mean, he believed in me, of course, but he was fairly certain that women were still only allowed to be nurses or teachers.) Anyway, the message is – your chosen profession is a central part of your identity, so pick a good one. But you know what makes that so dangerous? If you lose your job, you lose your value. And that, my friends, is a modern falsehood that must be debunked. YOU are NOT your JOB.

Your job doesn’t have to be your reason for living. Your job is a way to support the life you want to lead. There’s a strange sense of freedom when you stop pondering the existential meaning of your work and focus on enjoying what truly makes your life meaningful. If your job doesn’t define you, you make room for your passions, your service work, and your family to be the defining parts of your life. And those things don’t disappear with a lay off, cross-country move, or retirement.

Everyone always thinks there is another job just around that corner that will fulfill their every dream and ambition. But let’s face it, every job is going to have elements you don’t enjoy. It might be a certain task you despise, maybe you have no benefits, or maybe the person in the next cubicle always smells like pickles. Whatever it is, it’s proof the perfect job doesn’t exist. And rather than drive yourself crazy combing through careerbuilder.com for a job description that reads “get paid to do whatever you want,” there comes a point when it’s wise to settle. Settling doesn’t mean you give up and accept a crappy job. Not at all. It simply means you allow yourself to be content. (Note: My advice would be much different in regards to marriage. Don’t ever settle in that case.)

Here are some signs that you are “close enough” to that perfect job:
1. Your duties challenge you consistently, and otherwise give you something to do everyday.
2. Your employer pays you fairly, encourages you to continue learning, and supports your growth as a person.
3. You have a community of work people you enjoy seeing every day.
4. You have a few people you want to follow and some you want to lead.
5. You have the opportunity to try new things and, more importantly, the opportunity to make mistakes.
6. You get pats on the back for a job well done and, occasionally, donuts.
7. The schedule fits your current lifestyle well. You have the flexibility to spend time with your family and friends, take vacations, and otherwise experience life.
8. Your employer cares about you. This might be shown through an extensive benefits package, recognition from your boss, or a well-timed gift from the company, but you feel confident the powers that be know you exist and care about your well-being.
9. You are proud of where you work and its reputation in the community.
10. You are able to do your job and stay true to yourself. No job is worth compromising your morals, ethics, or values. If your job encourages you to maintain your core beliefs, you’re on the right track.

I’m going to try to stop asking people What do you do? But instead, Who are you? (Not literally. That would be a very strange question to ask people.) For instance, What do you do in your free time? Where are you from? What are your hobbies?

Work is one of many ways to connect with people, but our common ground is often not found in our jobs. It’s found in our love of chocolate, Game of Thrones, or Pinterest. Connections are made when we talk about our kids, our vacation mishaps, and our mutual acquaintances. What does your job really tell me about you? In my opinion, not as much as we think it should.

Mexi-Cauli One Pan

I don’t know, you guys. I think it’s impossible to make a bowl of ground turkey and cauliflower rice look appetizing. I tried my best, but you might just have to take my word for it. It’s delicious.

I am a huge fan of cauliflower rice. You can prep a ton of it ahead of time, and it is super easy to cook in a hurry. It adds body to any recipe, and takes on the flavor of whatever you cook it with. My favorite is to throw it into Mexican cuisine.

This particular dish is extremely versatile. I actually don’t know if what I’m writing here and what is in this picture are exactly the same because I’ve made it 100 different ways. This recipe is a good starting point, but feel free to get creative with whatever you have handy.

Ingredients:
– 1 pound taco meat, whatever that means to you.
– 1-2 cups sliced or chopped peppers – any color bell pepper, serrano, and/or jalapeño, as preferred.
– 1 can corn
– 3 cups cauliflower rice
– 1 cup salsa (or 3/4 cup enchilada sauce or 1/4 cup adobo sauce)
– 3 oz (or 1/3 of brick) cream cheese
– Optional garnishes: Avocado, tomatoes, lettuce, tortilla strips/chips, lime wedge

Directions:

1. Cook up some taco meat. I personally use ground turkey, but I know others prefer hamburger. You do you. (If you don’t have a prepared taco seasoning on hand, combine: cumin, chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper instead.)
2. Add in peppers. I typically have bell peppers of some color on hand, but you could easily use Serrano peppers and even some jalapeños if you want some kick.
3. Add in corn.
4. Once your peppers get tender, add in the cauliflower rice, mix, and cook all of it together.
5. Next, add in 3 or so ounces of cream cheese.  Melt down and stir in well.
6. Stir in 1 cup of salsa (other options: 3/4 cup red or green enchilada sauce or 1/4 cup adobo sauce – dice up some of the chipotle peppers it usually comes with as well).
7. Serve alone or garnish with tomatoes, avocado, lettuce, a squeeze of lime, and/or tortilla strips.

To Make the Cauliflower Rice:
If you want to prep it ahead of time, go ahead and grab a few heads of cauliflower. Cut it into florets and wash it. Once you’ve got your clean cauliflower florets, it’s time to rice them. I have a super cool contraption that does it in like two seconds, but I don’t get paid to advertise for them, so I’m not telling you what it is. 🙂 Feel free to use your own super cool contraption, or a food processor or blender. (If you are ricing by hand with a cheese grater, I’m really sorry, but I bet your forearms will look amazing.)
Bag up 3 cups at a time and freeze flat. When you’re ready to use it, just dump it directly into a pan to steam. It takes maybe five minutes to cook. (Side note: when using with a curry dish, cook it with a few tablespoons of canned coconut milk – the thick part. Mmmm…)

Bonus Tip: Washing Cauliflower
Let’s talk about washing fruits and vegetables for a second. It’s a pain, am I right? Here’s a tip: Fill up your salad spinner with water and add 1 cup of vinegar (white or apple cider). Soak your veggies and fruit in there, then pull out the colander part and rinse them in there. And yes, I said VINEGAR. It’s a fantastic natural cleaner, and I promise it will not make everything taste like sauerkraut.

Adventures in Potty Training

I’d read all the books and had tricks up my sleeve
I knew she would do it if we’d all just believe.

The neighbor boy was trained starting at 1.
His mom told me, straight-faced, “Don’t worry, it’s fun!

And you have a girl? Oh yeah, what a snap!”
But I’ll tell you one thing – She was so full of crap.

We started with “boot camp,” then stickers and charts
Bribing with candy – each one a false start.

Pull-ups, bare bottom, or fancy underwear,
She went where she wanted, she just didn’t care.

“What’s wrong with you?” I’d scream. “You’re almost 3!”
“Seriously, Mom, who cares where I pee?”

(Ok, this isn’t word for word
But basically, that’s what I heard.)

Then one day, I’m inspecting a wrinkle
When from behind me, I hear it – a tinkle!

“Baby! You did it! This is more than sublime.”
“Yeah, like I said, Mom, all in due time.”

Enough (part II)

Your bald head fit perfectly in my palm,
and the first time you opened your eyes,
you saw me.

I had just awakened from a dream
I’d been having my whole life
to find that it was true.

It was you.

My world tilted to meet
the lazy lean of your head,
and I used my wrist as your neck.

You yawned,
the jet-lagged yawn of birth,
not yet knowing what it is to be awake.

I watched in wonder as you slept,
your first real breaths
an imperfect rhythm.

Nine months of doubt
were cast away in a moment
as my knuckle brushed your velvet cheek,
and for the first time,
I trusted myself not to fail.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑